Like
a lot of girls, I barely plan what I’m going to eat for lunch, but I have
planned my future wedding down to the tiniest detail; it is going to be in this
lovely big house near Aberdeen that I have been to often with University
societies, and I will dress like a duck.
Here is an artist’s impression:
The
four white ducks will have to be raised from eggs in order for them to trust me
enough to follow me up the aisle. This
is a task I am more than willing to take on.
Here
is the day’s itinerary in military time:
1200
hrs: Guests arrive for ceremony. They
will be greeted by llamas in ceremonial dress.
1230
hrs: The ceremony begins; I walk up the aisle followed by the 4 white ducks I
will have trained from eggs.
1240
hrs: Bird of prey will fly the rings through the audience to my fiancé and me. Guests are enthralled.
1250
hrs: We are married.
1300
hrs: Guests exit the seating area to be greeted once more by llamas in
ceremonial dress.
1315
hrs: Photos with the various animals and guests; while birds of prey give a
display and people can have a go at getting the birds to fly to their arms.
1400
hrs: Guests are ushered into the dining room for food. Food will be a buffet made up of jacket
potatoes, nachos, fish and chips, chips and cheese, and Marmite soup, as well
as ice cream, chocolate, sweets, meringue, mango, strawberries and whipped
cream.
1445
hrs: While the guests are eating, speeches will be made.
1530
hrs: The guests slowly drift out.
1600
hrs: Guests are encouraged to drift between the food and drink on the inside
and the games and music which will be outside.
There will also be an organised walk around the surrounding countryside
while a stage is erected.
1800
hrs: Fully staged production of Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘Trial by Jury’ along
with a selection of favourites from other Gilbert and Sullivan operas.
1930
hrs: Wedding cake will be served; wedding cake will be made out of lots of
little cupcakes.
1945
hrs: Traditional Scottish country dancing (ceilidh) ensues
2100
hrs: Disco music begins, as does a specially choreographed routine to “I don’t
speak Americano’ which will be filmed for posterity.
2230
hrs: Though music and dancing will continue, the younger guests will be
encouraged to get changed and join the Bride and Groom in a game of ‘Sardines.’
0030
hrs: Exhausted, we go back to the main area, which will now be playing soft ‘chill-out’
music. We will drink port and talk gaily
of the wonderful day we have just had.
0200
hrs: Bed.
1100
hrs: Off to Center Parcs for a two week honeymoon!
I
challenge anyone to come up with a better wedding than this.
This is such a beautiful plan for a wedding! I really want to be invited now; and possibly plan mine the same way.
ReplyDeleteCount me in for chorus in TBJ.
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