Something somebody said to me on a train the other day made me think about public toilet etiquette, especially in situations when there are very few toilets available. I've put together a handy guide so that you don't all make the same mistakes that I did:
1. Pooing
This causes an unpleasant aroma, (but sometimes it cannot be helped.)
2. Shouting
You may have a lot of stuff that you need to get off your chest, but the toilet is not the place to do it.
3. Behaving like a bird
This is just stupid; why would you do this?
4. Writing an Opus
I know, I know, I get inspired on the toilet too, but other people are waiting to use it.
5. Staging a musical
Acoustics are generally good in toilets but owing to the limited capacity of the cubicle, the amount of revenue from any such venture is going to be very small.
6. Creating a portal to another dimension
Please don't do this; it inconveniences everyone.
7. Eating
Something about one eating on the toilet just doesn't sit right with me at all.
8. Eating the toilet
It's just not worth the effort.
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